The Gaming Experience
Shaun InguanzoMetal Gear Solid 4: Health Warnings
June 19th 2008 11:10
MGS4 takes aim at tired gamers? What about the fatties?
INSTALLING Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriot will lead Playstation 3 owners on a journey of good versus evil, right versus wrong.
Instead of displaying a bland, meaningless progress bar for our enjoyment, Konami has stepped outside the square when developing MGS4, and you might find yourself a better person for their troubles.
During the install, Solid Snake stands proudly in the background, lights a cigarette and smokes that cancer stick as your game unloads onto your PS3 hard drive.
In the foreground, a number of health, safety and warnings flash on and off the screen. They managed to keep me spankingly entertained for the duration of the install process!
Solid Snake says: Avoid playing when you are tired
Gamer Herald says: Isn't that the whole point of gaming? Perhaps the meaning of life? We game because we're tired of doing what we're supposed to be doing, and we're tired because we played games for too long the night before. It's an endless cycle that most gamers live for. Come on Snake, this is not Minesweeper. Harden up!
Solid Snake says: Ensure that you play in a brightly lit room and sit as far away from the screen as possible
Gamer Herald says: Does this mean Konami will pay my excessively large electricity bill and contribute to the extension of my gaming lounge? Should I apologise for switching the lights off? Maybe we need to send Solid Snake a DVD of the black balloons advertisement? Shame Snake, shame. And for the record, I'll sit as close to my 40-inch, full HD LCD screen as I friggen well want to!
Solid Snake says: Be sure to take a 15-minute break every hour
Gamer Herald says: You're asking me to STOP every hour? There are only three things that would force me to put down my Dualshock 3 controller every 60 minutes. Death, starvation and dehydration. Period. Did Jesus take a break from writing the Bible every hour? I don't think so. "Hey Moses, I've had enough of this ink-dipped feather, let's wrap barb-wired around our legs..." No way. We game for excessively. That's the truth.
Solida Snake says: If you begin to feel ill, stop playing immediately
Gamer Herald says: Define ill. Cancer? Brain tumour? Heart failure? Solution: Take some paracetamol, pick that controller up off the floor and keep playing. If you're still too sick to play, eject the MGS4 disc, list the game on eBay and post it to the winning bidder. Pansies like you don't deserve to play Metal Gear.
Solid Snake says: Cigarettes have a detrimental affect on you and others around you. Please consider others when smoking.
Gamer Herald says: Couldn't agree any more. Butt that stupid smoke and have some respect, don't cough your tar coated lung juice all over my lounge room either! Who would smoke anyway? I'd prefer to play games 16 hours a day, smash down 12 boxes of Pringles and stack on countless kilograms of unwanted flab!
Get some sleep, keep the lights on and don't litter. What about staying active?
INSTALLING Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriot will lead Playstation 3 owners on a journey of good versus evil, right versus wrong.
Instead of displaying a bland, meaningless progress bar for our enjoyment, Konami has stepped outside the square when developing MGS4, and you might find yourself a better person for their troubles.
During the install, Solid Snake stands proudly in the background, lights a cigarette and smokes that cancer stick as your game unloads onto your PS3 hard drive.
In the foreground, a number of health, safety and warnings flash on and off the screen. They managed to keep me spankingly entertained for the duration of the install process!
Solid Snake says: Avoid playing when you are tired
Gamer Herald says: Isn't that the whole point of gaming? Perhaps the meaning of life? We game because we're tired of doing what we're supposed to be doing, and we're tired because we played games for too long the night before. It's an endless cycle that most gamers live for. Come on Snake, this is not Minesweeper. Harden up!
Solid Snake says: Ensure that you play in a brightly lit room and sit as far away from the screen as possible
Gamer Herald says: Does this mean Konami will pay my excessively large electricity bill and contribute to the extension of my gaming lounge? Should I apologise for switching the lights off? Maybe we need to send Solid Snake a DVD of the black balloons advertisement? Shame Snake, shame. And for the record, I'll sit as close to my 40-inch, full HD LCD screen as I friggen well want to!
Solid Snake says: Be sure to take a 15-minute break every hour
Gamer Herald says: You're asking me to STOP every hour? There are only three things that would force me to put down my Dualshock 3 controller every 60 minutes. Death, starvation and dehydration. Period. Did Jesus take a break from writing the Bible every hour? I don't think so. "Hey Moses, I've had enough of this ink-dipped feather, let's wrap barb-wired around our legs..." No way. We game for excessively. That's the truth.
Solida Snake says: If you begin to feel ill, stop playing immediately
Gamer Herald says: Define ill. Cancer? Brain tumour? Heart failure? Solution: Take some paracetamol, pick that controller up off the floor and keep playing. If you're still too sick to play, eject the MGS4 disc, list the game on eBay and post it to the winning bidder. Pansies like you don't deserve to play Metal Gear.
Solid Snake says: Cigarettes have a detrimental affect on you and others around you. Please consider others when smoking.
Gamer Herald says: Couldn't agree any more. Butt that stupid smoke and have some respect, don't cough your tar coated lung juice all over my lounge room either! Who would smoke anyway? I'd prefer to play games 16 hours a day, smash down 12 boxes of Pringles and stack on countless kilograms of unwanted flab!
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Comment by Shaun Inguanzo
Blogocratic Nightmare
It's as absurd as Nintendo's constant 'take a break' messages in their wii games!
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Paulomunir
Go get some sleep pal.